pumping gas with infected fingers

pumping gas with infected fingers




Stress became the mechanism
for the release of this vital energy
Stressing the body can cause changes
in the perception of the brain
Pain became my primary mechanism
When I flicked the ashes onto your belly
Standing over you I examined the patterns of the ash
They were each unique, exotic, and precious
You are not just another pretty face
A triangle of beauty
Wickedly wonderful
Three dogs barking somewhere outside
You do it so very well
The heroin courses through your body
You laugh each time a dog barks
It is some kind of symbiotic relationship
When you are high, you only want to dance
Spinning circles are the room
Delicate and beautiful circles
Each a mystery in themselves
Sipping your champagne from an empty can of beans
Mocking the pretentions of the world’s dignity
We have reduced everything to its basic parts
You say you love me
But, I can tell that you don’t mean it
Not yet anyway
I wonder if you have people
And if they miss you?
Do they love you?
Could anyone love you as much as I do?
I think it is impossible
Maybe only god
But, god isn’t talking right now
Sometimes god doesn’t say anything for days
The silence is insurmountable
If you don’t listen to me,
then you won’t have anyone to blame
I am talking about god to you
Telling you god speaks to me
Sometimes I don’t listen
Sometimes I obey
It is my purpose in life to follow god’s will
Your hair looks too shaggy to me
So I cut your hair
It is cut short like a little boy’s
It makes your earrings so much more necessary
They highlight the beautiful features of your face
I tell you that you are pretty
You tell me to find something real to talk about
Reality to you has become so different
You are not what you once were
What you consider to be real has changed
Like your love for dogs has changed
You tell me that the bark of the dogs is what is beautiful
I tell you that only people can be beautiful
You do not confuse animal and people
I interpret everything you say
I have been listening to you for eight months
I attack you with insight
Just a simple screw
You tell me you need simple people
I am not simple
I am complicated
I have made your life complicated
Complications are what happen between the sequences of life
I have given you something better than complications
I have given you a vision for a better life
This is not a Freudian conversation
I am not going to examine your childhood
The drugs make you say silly things
They don’t make you; they remove the barriers of inhibition
You have become freer
More able to explore your true feelings
Sometimes everyone feels lonely
The universe works in a certain way
I have attempted to discover why things work the way they do
You are my universe
You make me happy
Everyone is so elusive and evasive
No one wants to share their true feelings
They keep them hidden
Safe from the eyes of others
I have no secrets
All of my discoveries I have documented
I want to share my success with others
One the first day there was mystery
I would sit at my table and write to you
Love letters written with many words
Sometimes the love in my heart would become too much for me
And I would have to stop writing
I would put my pen down and sob at my table
Eventually I would break the spell
Fighting off the delirium
I have lived several lives
More than my share
I know this
I recognize this
For this, I thank the devil
Staring into the darkness
You are saturated with my need
I must triumph
I have to grow stronger
And spread my wings
This is absolute love
The very best stuff
It was made from my still way back in the woods
A special potion
A secret family recipe
The sight of you made me tremble
I could not hold back any more
I had to act
Setting my plan into action
It was brief and to the point
There was no time for doubt
I had to leap like a tiger
You were standing there in the flesh
Ripe for the taking
The full meaning was not able to grasp
Not until much later
When you were safely tucked away
I had to wait to kiss you
I didn’t want you to think ill of me
I must take my time
Love has to grow
It needs time
I know this
Worked the details over and over in my mind
Soon you would share with me your life
Your whole life
Every drop of blood
To the last precious drop
I was surprised to find you there
At such a time
The perfect time
I always get what I need
Sooner or later it comes to me
Gift wrapped in a bow
You had a bow in your hair
I took it as a sign from god
He works in mysterious ways
I work in mysterious ways
I couldn’t wait to unwrap my present
To stick my tongue between your legs
Wanting to taste your creamy thighs