Burning Origami

Burning Origami



she is sending me new contradictions
they are mine and mine alone
I will not share them with anyone
because she is beautiful to me
in all her faults
she waves her hand and they emit from her fingertips
life continues, but in a diminished form
the brightness has been dulled
she is still pumping it out
she is spilling it out
a group of teenaged girls with bleached hair
looking through black tinted windows
taking stock of their actions
rolling slow and getting a good look
a good look
I injected the cigarettes with the substance
and then resealed the pack
I am playing by my own rules this time
everything is anonymous and interchangeable
her bluejeans and yellow sneakers
I tossed them into a garbage can
she has become expressionless
a hostess at a Dennys restaurant
she greets the customers with a blue eye shade
her fingertips smell of maple syrup
an eager wrinkle on her eyebrow
she dreams of me
she can feel me when I'm not there
she is a part of me
She danced at Diamond Jim's across the river
her stage name was Kiki
she was a hard working girl
moving her ass up and down
rubbing her tits in your face
she was attending the local community college
majoring in pelvic thrusts
I am sure she got the highest grades
she made a buck for a lap dance
and 20 bucks for a private dance
she wanted to invest in my research
buy me all the drugs
she sent the girls at work to be my lab rats
she said certain girls' souls were loosely tethered
promoting the mind's evolution through the old bump and grind
under the roofs of sleepy little Dubuque
it is all beer bottles and ugly white seagulls
trying to steal her french fries
a little boy is kicking a ball
a red ball that looks like communism
her legs are sex symbols
they gleam at me like neon signs
her legs say buy fucker buy
it is a good time for some pussy
in the back seat of my car
in the municipal parking lot
two teenage boys peek through the car's window
watching us fuck
one boy pulls out his dick
and starts wacking off
he spurts his young wad onto the car window
this makes you laugh a long hysterical laugh
I'm used to your laugh by now
I have become accustomed to the hysterical
your laugh opens a door into another world
it is a world where only you and I belong
it was made for us
not like this world
in our world everything is perfect
our world is not acceptable for mass consumption
we are only temporal vessels of the light
there is only so much that we can hold
beyond that measure and we burst
I force the tube down their throats
and turn the faucet
they feel so alone in this world
alone and drowning in their sorrows
they couldn't find someone to love them
instead they were thrown away like trash
a useless piece of human trash
that everyone preferred to be dead than alive
I was the only person in the whole world
that could feel them
I could see them as they really were
are should I say are, because they still exist
not in this world, but in another
maybe their next life is better
not so filled with pain and misery
I was only happy to help them along
to introduce them to the next stage
peering into their faces
down to their last 500 dollars
robbing them of everything they got
they all live on the six floor
everyone in dubuque live on the sixth floor
the whole god damned city is in on it
charging rent for the legs and arms
I was trying to be a perfect gentleman
but, with them I was a brute
a real fucking animal
they all die so loud
it was all a lie
a fabrication between two great liars
we led you down that dark alley to rob you
I was going to beat you over the head
whack you in the head like some purple gorilla
I was ready to clobber you
cave your head in
like so many times before
bam and down they fall
you never would have seen it coming
but, for some reason I had a change of heart
decided to express what I am
to swim out to the sinking ship
and shoot all the survivors
it was my own salvation
each one was a vice that I saw in myself
they died a symbolic death really
they died for my sins
mine alone and no one else
I know it is selfish of me to say such things
but it is true
they all died for me
like when I took my first hit of acid in high school
all the goodness of the world came rushing in
it was like my mouth was pried open
and this heavenly sunshine poured into mehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
and it came bursting out of my heart
that was a new beginning
I became born again
the world was strangely different
it was like everything became renewed
the child in me had to be killed
so I killed each and everyone of them
it was necessary for me to grow
to let the beautiful sunshine out
learning to obey my instincts
following the lead of my heart
jumping off the deep end
letting my impulses flow
that was a new beginning
washed in blood
I found a higher power
a higher calling
and I used it ridiculously
I beat it like an old dog
made it my slave
rode it all the way
bringing out what is unknown
seeing it for the first time
something that was 009/11/jealous-punk.html">inside me and hiding
it wanted to get out
I
and out it pops
I turn the tables upside down
and chase the bankers out the door