The pimp hat of oblivion

The pimp hat of oblivion



I am building the bridge
a bridge to evolution
not the highest accomplishment
there are no guarantees on your golden ticket
the last man is a image of disgust
no aspirations to peek his head outside the door
not wanting see what is real
he is afraid that his master stands outside
holding the ax of indifference
who he kills is not a matter of concern
death is his random friend who shows up from time to time
he knows that the last man has a weakness
this weakness keeps him inside
the four walls of his morality can not protect him
there are no guarantees to this life
people are what they are
some are easily made into a messy pile of goo
the dead are the higher example
they have learned to experiment with their lives
exploring the limits
making their deals with the devil
to that respectable street
each of us finds him in a different way
behind all the appearances of the world
the power over the idea
making the idea bend to our will
the master is also desperate
his fears make him the product and the victim
I don’t mean to put it all on your shoulders
It is not my intention to place a heavy burden on your back
It is my entire fault
I picked you out of a crowd
One rainy night
The choices you made led you to this point
This intersection between wills
My will was stronger than yours
You could have just as easily been the predator
I could have been the victim
In another reality, that is probably the case
You kidnapped me
Tied me up and beat me
Taught me to appreciate the pain
To channel it
To grow with the pain
You would love me with the pain
I count all the scars on your body
They represent a road map
Of where we came from and where we are going
Places where we have been
We took this journey together
I have cut you from head to toe
And the burn marks are too many to count
I have branded 666 onto your flesh
And there are hundreds of piercings all over your body
Strange jagged pieces hang from your flesh
It is magical how you have grown into a force to be reckoned with
I have created you to be a powerful force
I know you will destroy me
The creation always destroys the creator
Since the beginning of time
Glowing in the dark without protective clothing
Reading the mail order catalog
I can always use some more gags
And I go through restraints
They don’t seem to last
My best stuff is homemade
You really have to be somewhat of a do-it-yourselfer to get along
It takes an inventive mind
Not just application of theory
But, synthesis
Creating something totally new out of two different components
It is not like there is a manual for this
You have to make it up as you go along
Improvisation
Like a jazz musician
You know the basic framework
But you improvise
It changes as you apply the framework to new situations
New girls
Each girl is different
You go with the flow
See what works
What gets her off

The application of theoretical constructs to the destruction of humanity

The application of theoretical constructs to the destruction of humanity



No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.
Aristotle





There is no law to control us
We live by our own rules
Stuffing the shards down their throats
There is no expiration date
We have to guess on its freshness
I have gathered up all my promises
And compressed them into a small infinite mass
Collapsing everything in
Reducing the minutia
They follow after their fathers
Not seeing with their eyes
A perfect deviation
Spiraling down into metamorphosis
You turn the lights off and wait
Voicing the frenzied verb
Into the air of absolutes
As the room grows bigger and bigger
Inhale and exhale
I can see the ribs through the drywall
This living thing is a witness against us
How we forged greatness out of small things
Too bad we didn’t have the heart to continue on
As the assumptions surround us
And sink their fangs into us
Performing live in the Gothic cathedral
Coming out on the other side
Two little coke bottles
You are turning them upside down
Liking the process
Like souvenirs or postcards
Handing out flyers at the Fourth of July parade
Two windows reflecting each other
It is all by chance
Heads coming up out of the boots
Cutting it down the middle
Observing the change
Doing something about your red ant army
Selling your coke in China and Japan
Missing the bell
The mark, the mark
Counting the snakes that dart from your eyes
Gathering them up in a bucket
Testing your courage
Strange things seep out of you
And fly above your head
Silencing your prayers
I could not leave you untouched
That would be wrong on my part
I had to touch you
Change you
It was my calling
I could not squander my talents
Inspiration looked me squarely in the eye
And I reacted
I responded to the call
And made you
Created you out of nothing
With only a word
A whimper from your mouth
Transformed into horrendous screams
Ah those lovely screams
Poured out of your soul
It was stubborn
And didn’t want to go
Then there was the beauty queen
She had been the state fair queen
She was blonde and beautiful
I met her in a grocery store
By the sliced meats
I asked her if she liked meat
And she said yes
They always say yes
It’s the magic in my pants
meat magic
It is easy to forget how lucky you are
My visual hallucinations are joined with auditory hallucinations
My seeing believes and takes shape inside my mind
I am wishing for a change
Wishing for a change that will move mountains
Like an atomic blast
Melting the skin off their faces
She didn’t give a damn about nothing
There was no summation of the good
It was a relationship based on nothing
She put her trust on an ideology
I never could ask why
Not when she was around
She was so certain in all of her possibilities
No point of reference for the location
I’ve always had here best interests in heart
Wanting her to be more than she was
More than a pretty face
I always told her it was ok
Even when she promised me that she didn’t make a sound
I have her be quiet for days
You have to learn to control their tongue
It happens all the time
It happens now and then
Sometimes I fool myself into thinking I have control
That I can make it happen when I want
most people exist below the horizon
conforming to the demands of the machine society
they are simple humans
paralyzed by the neurotica
letting it simply coming out
coming back to what you are
something outside you
coming back to yourself
in the grip of something larger
it is a deeper human level
I am being filled with inspiration
I ponder my despair in seclusion
what I need is loneliness
I am overflowing with darkness
I am thinking of killing you
my life is becoming murder
let us be warm and sympathetic
awakening the potentiality in us all
it is time for us to do the dirty work
it is not because it has to be done
this rock could continue without it
but, things would be slower
more difficult to understand
there is only so much understanding for each age
I would watch her flex her muscles in a crowd
At a department store
On the dance floor
With some unfortunate soul
She would convince him to take her to the alley
And then rob the poor slob
I was behind the curtains
Pulling her strings
She was such a good puppet
I was convinced that I would never find anyone better
naked opulence on the floor
right or wrong, she was America
on top of me with her fur
twinkling like blood
the substantial cane never be washed away
narrative spurts out of her
she is on me like fate
I am reading her fortune
checking the length of her lines
her words come out as formless shapes
I am stuffing her with democracy
and throwing her into the revolution
She grew up in highland
fucking her in the park
up against Roger's car
and then again in the back seat
that night I got pulled over by the police
they were looking for someone with rhythm
Roger never would let me borrow his car again
the next day he put a for sale sign in the window
I made everything ok
Calming her storms
Making her walls crumble
I am never wrong
Sometimes it is hard to see all the connections
But, they are there
The real and the unreal
Our love was created through difference
It is through the stretching of borders
That love develops
Meeting her half way
We existed as an end in ourselves
In all of our actions
We had been abandoned by ontology
This is the essential and the general
A terrible translation in many ways
Never questioning our unity
The beautiful one and I were one
This totality of our being
We are not exhausted from the dominance
Even now undergoing a mutation
Growing more significant daily
It was in the beauty queen that I first started to see significant results
She was transforming
She gave me hope that I was on the right path
I had learned the influence of drugs and pain
Developing a science of the experience
It experience that determines consciousness
Experience unlocks the hidden powers of the mind
Through directing human experience, I have discovered possibility
Releasing the hormones
Charging a price for admission
Jumping out from the dark corners
With a ghost in my pocket
A smoking junkie
You know more about my children
More than I planned to tell you
Nipples sucking the wind
I built you with the instructions of the wise ones
You tasted like fruit punch
In the heart of your city
Looking for the shy ones
They try to cover up their stones
But they shine too bright
I can see them through the layers of clothing
Offering them marshmallows
Their legs collapse under the burden
Afraid of my passion
It is ok to live
To be free
Bringing back the forgotten
Your unrepentant waist
30 silver dollars
The slot machines repent
But not you
Feel me inside of you
I am always there
I have made all the promises that I’m ever going to keep
I have given you all of my masks
The shallowness of my dreams
Cannot touch you
Soon I will be inside of everyone
Not just the tv screen
People practicing my moves
Working on their knots
And sharpening their knives
Fillet all the bastards
Like a piece of fish
Flop mother fucker flop
Gasping for air
Constructing another altar
Worshiping me on three hundred channels
I didn’t mean to be their god
I was your god
Only you worshiped me
Now everyone worships me
I never asked for their love and adoration
Love letters in the mail
I would burn them all
If I could

The Old Man with the shotgun in his hand

The Old Man with the shotgun in his hand



I think we all have madness in us, it's just that I've realized mine and found a way to let it out.
John Glover






the sinister parts only show themselves to me in the first rays of sunlight
she was a big part of my naked lazy life
she was the one that always suggested something crazy
for her the life of the mundane was pleasant but dull
what am I doing here?
why do I seek the pain that is in her heart?
it would be some much simpler to let the past fade into oblivion
to worry about getting started
to fear that the world was already leaving me behind
I am only sixteen and yet I feel so much older
it is as if a much older spirit dwells inside me
he speaks to me in my dreams
and shows me where the connections exist
he shows me connections that I would never had seen by myself
I must give him a name, this spirit inside me
I feel that naming him would give me some sort of ownership over him
sometimes he seems like a saint and other times he seems like an animal
sometimes when I am fucking Mona
it seems like the old man is fucking her instead of me
it is as if he is living through me
a 50 year old man living through a 16 year old boy
how is this possible?
am I possessed?
how did this happen?
maybe I am crazy
maybe someday they will lock me up
untill then I will ride this thing out to its fullness
till the wickedness comes full circle
it will be a perfect circle
I can see it in my mind
this is a strange thing that means so much to me
I know you couldn't help it
it was your destiny
just as I had to follow mine
my heart would ache for you
it felt like it would explode
like I was breathing my last breath
she is learning new poses
getting stronger every day
I took her to a musical
the craziness is open all hours
I am always waiting for Mona to catch up
we kill without proper justification
mona takes away my citizenship
all the different circumstances
she is playing with my spider
it is black and furry
she took me around 10:30
she couldn't close my eyes
feeling mad and angry
and disconnected from myself
I want to talk to you
I want to explain myself
I took your to the roller coaster
and we shared the unpleasant experience
you make me crazy
trying to change my thinking
I'm never gonna laugh again
in the darkness forever
never going to feel love
it fills so good to yearn
sucking on your breast
zipping you up into the straightjacket
caught in the dream
sometimes I'm a good guy and sometimes I'm a bad guy
people just value lives
I don't understand why
I am preparing a special death just for you
with every breath let yourself go deeper and deeper
you have a voice
the corrupt fear you
you are washing my clothes in the bunker
safe from the bombs of the 1 percent
they are destroying the industrial heart
making everything empty
I can see the glitches in the matrix
cute and fuzzy mania
sometimes the weirdness gets too far away
and we have to bring it closer to home
when we are desperate, we cannot see the beauty
we can only embrace the terribleness in a great manner
making an effort with the aid of terror
becoming insatiable with is all
the madness, the terror, the limits of humanity
where did we go wrong?
how did we create such a mess?
your flesh is my fantasy
getting fuzzy headed
funky headed
it has been fifteen hours
since you last read my sensory book
I am a cuddly lion
feel my silky paws
I am soft and snuggly
a gift from Dr. Joan
you look pretty when you come walking through the door
it is not the end of the conversation
I cannot get you off my mind
as soon as I wake up
sometimes its morning
sometimes its not
I begin to think about you
then I ask myself, which you should I make today?
then a few things cross my mind
there are so many possibilities

the love of a nihilist asshole

the love of a nihilist asshole



you are asking me meaningless questions
making me think of things that I would prefer to avoid
you go to work on me with an ax
having a wonderful time of it
singing or rather humming some forgotten tune
sometimes it comes out just like you want it
the mere mechanical business
greasing all of my gears
seeing to it properly
the discomfort is an aid
or a bit of a stimulant
an electric cattle prod up the ass
putting juice to your demonic nature
killing the thinking animal
it is bad to think
I would rather have you feel
I'm not selling hope anymore
it doesn't last
as soon as i open the door
out it runs down the street
and gets hit by a car
then I'm in the middle of the street
crying because hope is dead
eventually I stop buying the shit
and I rip out that part in me
where hope lived
at our feet is an underworld
the first light of the death angel
new ranks are thinning
a hungry tug of desire
your claim for broken substance
standing against the wall
dark whispers reaching down
different words from god
violated by the madness
the stain of a dream
that has always been
a good kind of crazy
one you can sink your teeth into
together again
like dogs and angels
two people across the street
filled with doubt and self-pity
a helpless blue
painted on your heart
it beats a sticky pink
like the gums of angels
before sin enters in
all up and down
deep into the creature
out of the bottom
without a name
hot shooting in a cold medium
out your eye
around the curves
sick with fear
we all know the sleep
in the cemetery of the soul
the curse of death is in the blood
no more locks on your doors
a strange sense of love
your prison is self-made
the truth is your rejection
half torn and numb
a lifetime of mutilation
fight the possibility
beat it out of you
like the raven's quarrel
everything possessed of searching
an unfamiliar turn
in the bitter celebration
an empty victory with spread legs
appearing as if by magic
pushed up so high
the bodies move as a miracle
grinding into each other
higher and high
a child of two continents
death weeps at noon
something real and impossible
the waste of a loaded laugh
here every morning
the people have words to say
but no one wants to hear
we only want to listen to the pretty
dancing images flickering on a screen
burning into our retinas
fabricating a lie in our brains
it is a hostile condition
in their little dresses
carried and deposited by ancient angels
we play upon the frozen rock
it fell from heaven
tiny parallel lives
caught under the massive weight
pinning us down
short and tiny breaths
huge depressions
free reign over your soul
we are weak and swept aside
it is a continual battle
so hard to separate
with see-through eyes
a lovely dance filled with horror
my slaughter house memory
a few more left-handed shoves
hammer beating brains
as true as your insides
the blues into your cup
nothing I could say
someone had stolen my tongue
and it was boiling in a pot of water
sitting on your stove of hate
me inside of everything
my shell shocked and wounded heart
sucking up all that is left
every little morsel
not a crumb for a mouse
trying to hide from my hunger
thinking like a witch or a devil
leaning out your window sill
utterly pressed and depressed
busted layers of angel dust
they come alive inside me
growing through me
reaching the outside world
reaching you
with vacant eyes
using their knives
down sidewalks with beautiful looks
this is where you slumber
you look uneven
putting you on the floor
the lights are just right
accusing me of hypocrisy
someday you become a productive human being
just like superman
collecting all your gold stars
putting them in this feeling thing
a giver instead of a taker
you were invented
I was trying to be socially responsible
when I ignored you
and placed you in the straightjacket
pointing you towards the lie

I was sent to kill the Genius

I was sent to kill the Genius

My appendages are humming,
Something from the Rolling Stones, most likely,
Since the operation it is hard to remember
But, the damn things do what they want
any requests?

The dead will need their legs,
That old wino told me
You know, the guy who predicted the end of the world
And Bought billions of dollars of billboard signs
Hey buddy, throw some of that money my way

As I climb up the ladder to attach your spine
It only takes a little barbed-wire and twine
Still humming tumbling dice
Now I remember
Some things still come to me
Take a chance with me

Building each and every one of your demons,
It’s complicated but I do have directions
I think they are in four different languages
It requires a lot of screwing and pounding

You are more than your tortoise shell collection
An angel who has fallen from heaven
I’m just giving you a voice
the rock and the hammer
Is that really a voice?

You fall apart in all the right places
Trading your golden halo for another crack-dream-nightmare
How dare you suffer differently than me
It doesn’t matter no more
I guess it never did

These are the days that we long to forget,
Like Broken glass rubbed across your back,
There you are in a little pile
An enemy to be feared
Attack the man says, attack
What did you expect?
Are you curious about when freedom died?

You want to know if I’m an assassin,
I’m just an errand boy
Sent by grocery clerks
Their souls are mad
You knew I wasn’t going anywhere
The strength to do your perfect will
It was then that I knew that you were more than I

We are asleep and dreaming
Victims to a war against our freedoms
So the rich can get richer
And the poor can get poorer
It is obscene
It is judgment that defeats us
Repeat and rinse

Immortal Jellyfish #38

Immortal Jellyfish #38

The lady is a vampire,
solitude of the empty wall,
I fill it with paint.

It is a fundamental illusion,
your orange shirt and tiny breasts,
I give another woman your chocolate.

You are fascinated by how I investigate the object,
I do not wish to merely take note
of the path of our individual reflections.

Looking for the simplest and shortest way,
you place your name upon my method,
we are becoming detached.

How I long to discover your center,
we shall allow ourselves to be led,
giving away the practical guidance.

I hear laughter in the spaces between your words,
whether to be absorbed into one of your members,
a beholding of the world.

It is because of the romantics,
approaching the meaning we are familiar with,
the view out your window makes me complete.

I am not simply retained in your memory
like a present wrapped with a colorful bow,
I am a matter of your coherent conviction.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
A mixture of superstition and knowledge,
tying the rope between the poles of foreboding,
as life-experience, power, and character.

You want to formally connect your thoughts,
to stitch them together like Methuselah,
binding the wind to the water.

Immortal Jellyfish #37

Immortal Jellyfish #37

You are so sexy with your butterscotch kisses,
wanting to learn about love and loss
as our lives intersect in interesting ways.

All of my voices speak to you
with the glowing appeal of a high summer dream,
we are tempted by the hour’s length.

I am the morrow in your bones,
building for you more red blood cells,
calling creatures what they are.

It was the breath and voice that gave you life,
I into you like a magic word,
pulling all the pieces together.

Together we are reminded of great things,
that vision that pushed us on,
our toes dangling in the water.

I never learned about being human from your machines,
I once had human teachers,
now I’m on the train to Shanghi.

I am looking for a Polaroid,
in a really cool place,
cakes and coffee on tables.

Living in the gallery,
it is all black and white to me,
I cannot see your colors.

The trains have feelings
and I break them all,
I can’t get enough of your Six 80s.

It is one on one,
introducing me to the Spice girls,
I had a man child.

Immortal Jellyfish #33

Immortal Jellyfish #33

There is so much excess between our lives,
we had a crazy dream that no one believed in, but us,
to live like dangerous people in a dangerous land.

We started to see only ourselves, for the first time,
to be so real among the roses and the thorns,
communicating with others.

I have nothing and want everything,
but, it is not material things that I want,
I want that which I cannot buy.

Translating the human side,
we once lived in the middle of garbage,
you helped me more than I could help you.

I gave you a piece of my soul
and you cherished more than I could ever imagine
I can give you more because I am bigger than you can see.

I have known since I was small
that there was something that was so big inside me
that could never ever be measured.
All the people that push and pull,
wanting it to be like the movies,
rolling up the street with cement hands.

Tipped off by your FBI pals,
satisfying your naked lusts for truths,
you are a degenerate vivisectionist.

Working on your desecration and exploitation,
skills that you portray on youtube,
this is not your fate but your public policy.

You went there and found it to be too small,
wanting to disappear instead of being found,
a completely different story.

Going eight miles an hour,
always coming in from Vietnam,
the voices have gone away.

Immortal Jellyfish #32

Immortal Jellyfish #32

Come here and get your hands dirty,
drinking the champagne from the bottle,
green bottles with green eyes.

They tell me they are jealous,
of the fires on the night sky,
the two of us dancing together.

It is about the life blood,
how you collect it in a jar,
and on sad days we drink.

To wear the pointy shoes of the middle class
and read your magazines of pride
I have no room in my heart for prejudice.

Beautiful scenery with a lake and man fishing,
the moment when one thing turns into another,
that is the beauty that we cannot replicate.

I saw the tears fall down your cheek
as you said that you didn’t want to be here,
I offer you a love that is beyond dreams.

The things you throw away,
they are so charming,
as far as you can see.

We lose the scale,
they died from drug trafficking,
the rain stains the wall.

I was never ashamed of being poor,
I told them you were younger than you are,
we are bonded by this lie.

Throwing up little pieces,
Watching the death creep in through the window,
it was so white and horrific.

The little ant crawling across the face,
so beautiful and so delicate,
you don’t want to go back.

If we shake them up and make them see something else,
they are never as fragile as you imagined,
one way or another, another reality.

Immortal Jellyfish #22

Immortal Jellyfish #22

It is the words of hurt that you cherish,
they have become like your children,
feeding and clothing them.

Inside them you place your hopes and dreams
and the nightmare of an irrational person,
you have become such a hard sell.

Your scars you have turned into ribbons and badges,
that scar above your right eye
where the beer bottle cut you.

It is always a fight or a fuck for you,
there are no more empty spaces inside your heart,
no room to fit a Buddha or a baby Jesus.

Certainly no room for me inside that dark place,
it takes big shoulders to hold up such a weight,
a world of that refuses to accept reality.

You want things to be made easy for you,
easier than in the movies,
big piles of money that you hide in books and stack in the corner.

They come around you barking like dogs,
drinking the milk that you pour into little bowls,
you pet them of the head and call them hope and belief.

Immortal Jellyfish #21

Immortal Jellyfish #21

I feel like a hunted animal,
looking out into the darkness,
adding to the anguish of the cornered.

These matters of life and death as they sit high upon a hill,
connecting the inside with the outside, lies the abyss,
you prepare yourself with shudders of awe.

Prepared to stay in the background and to blend in,
being picked up on the road hitchhiking,
thinking effectively on your feet.

It was an escape, lunging out the window,
broken glass and gunshots in the dark,
your heart beating faster and faster.

For the past week I have been working on taming you,
you have hair coming out of your head,
having been hanged for such a fate.

You stood quiet as a lump,
while I hammered at your feet,
the last in the first days.

I wished you continued success,
better off than before,
the circus is in town.

Running a hand through your unruly hair,
if you don’t like the way then move out of the way,
just a little more than a showman.