Canceled Row of Fades

lies to kid themselves
covered brown stain
god’s flat stick
a roll of rusty nickels
falling slower
all over the floor
you gonna crucify
pills hard to swallow
a double dose fit
bends over brushes
the electrodes smile
swelling up and rattling
hands nailed out
floating over the controls
a dial for each life
schematic drawings and equations
a dusty bottom teeter
counterpoint and nemesis
a hammer instead of a bomb
letting loose the wild animal
the carnival barker shouts
and chops away
at the meat on the table
hisses and spits
the devil is always hard to kill
seeing visions
of heaven and hell
smoke on the horizon
eyes aimed full bore
bouncing against the walls
even before departure
last saw month ago
in a bad way then
far ahead of the crowd
standing out angry
burn the luminous
bunched in on self
losing the plot
out of control
a concealed pain
something come loose
sliding around
killing me
a void of repetition
attacking with fervor
a web of habits